The Real reason some decision are so hard...

Background photo by Waewkidja  - Freepik

I have seen it so many times, in my own life and those who are close to me. You have a decision to make and you are 'umming' and 'ahhing' over it for days, weeks, sometimes months. You go over the pros and cons in your mind and just can not find a way to answer definitively what it is you are going to do.

I propose that often the real reason is because not only is there emotion involved but, and this is the sucker punch, because you know that if you really follow your heart of hearts someone you care about is going to get hurt. You are a good person, you don't want to cause any pain or suffering, you don't want to disappoint, you don't want to back out of a promise or cost someone money or time that they have invested in you or because of you. Perhaps it is you that you are trying to keep safe and you are scared of the risk.

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The real reason for your indecision is you are putting short term gain (or lack of loss) before your long term gain.

What is it you are going to get long term from making the right decision, the one that your heart is telling you to make but scares the heeby-jeebies out of you?

That can be really hard to measure, but measure it you must. You have to know what you are risking never having versus what you have right now. Otherwise how will you make an informed decision?

The result of not doing this is often not making any definitive decision at all, the opportunity passes by, and what you have left is regrets and 'what ifs'. Not because you decided to miss the opportunity, but because you didn't make the decision.

If you had definitively made the decision after proper and careful consideration then the opportunity was not missed, it was turned down for something better. You were in control rather than abdicating. There is a distinct difference, one brings peace of mind, the other brings grief.

So if you are abdicating the making of a decision, so that time makes it for you, ask yourself if it is because you do not want to face the consequences of the decision you really want to make?

Want a little help with your difficult decisions?

I have designed a really simplistic tool which I adapted from another business coach and friend that helps you separate out the conflicting feelings and lay them all out in black and white. I have uploaded it in my members area under 'Tools' - members click here

I hope it is of some use

For those of you who are not members try separating out each individual consequence for each option that you have within that decision. Then for each one try to work out individually how important the consequence (or result) is. By doing this you are untangling your feelings from all the different threads, you can start to see where the pain and gain points are.

Once you see your emotional quotient for each of the options and you have worked through the process often the answer, no matter how painful the option, starts to appear more obvious.
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